If you are lost in The Daily Insanity, you may use this Navigation post to get to places.
This is where I will be posting links to the various MSTs I have been doing, plan to do, et cetera. As of right now, I only am in the middle of one, with four more planned to go when I get through with the others.
Under Completed, the links are to my MSTs. Everything else is a link to the original post, the exceptions being My Immortal (just look up the Encyclopedia Drammatica version), The Girl who Lived (requires a Yahoo Account and some permissions to see), my stories that weren't published, for obvious reasons, and The Mortal Instruments and Twilight Saga because they're books, and if I liked to them, it would be linking you to a plagiarism, which is bad..
My Immortal 1-11 - Stephenie Meyer
Stephenie Meyer vrs. J.K. Rowling - Epic fail
My Immortal 12-22
My Inner Life
My Immortal 23-33
My Immortal 34-44
Some of my stories (that were never published)
The Girl Who Lived
The Twilight Saga (as I read them for the first time)
The Mortal Instruments (as I read them for the first time)
Cries of the Crimson Angel
Beloved WARNING! RATED M FOR A REASON!
BADFIC GRADING RUBRIC
Title: Stephenie Meyer vrs. JK Rowling
Grade: Epic Fail
Victims: Mainly herself, as she does a better job of looking like an idiot than looking intelligent.
Summary: A frustrated Twihard tries to convince her readers that Meyer > Rowling. Blasphemy.
Offenses: Putting Twilight before Harry Potter. That's all that needs to be said.
Original text can be read here.
*door opens, Rytex, Xemyli, Dalen, and Exsan all enter*
Rytex: Huh, so it’s our debut on The Daily Insanity. Finally. What are we doing today?
Xemyli: Some idiotic drivel written by a Twihard that compares Meyer to Rowling.
Exsan: That’s like comparing Barcelona FC to a first-grade soccer team. I mean, there’s no comparison.
Dalen: Yeah, in terms of villainy, Meyer would probably be the Brazilian Men’s National Team.
Exsan: Who let you in here?
Dalen: I’m like Superman. I know when I’m needed.
Xemyli: We don’t need you.
Dalen: I beg to differ. If any article involves Meyer, I shall spork it to preach about how Meyer is the world’s greatest villain!
Rytex: Alive? Or all-time?
Dalen: Alive. Duh. Who can compare with Hitler?
Xemyli: Getting off the topic of racism, we have a classic America vs. Britain coming right up.
Rytex: Oh good god, not again. Let me guess, Twilight > HP, right?
Xemyli: Nope, this one’s called JK Rowling vrs. Stephenie Meyer.
Exsan: Do I even need to mention there’s no “r” in the abbreviation for versus?
Dalen: It’s a Twihard. What did you expect?
Rytex: Let’s get this over with.
I don't know how many of you have read Harry Potter, but I love them. They are such a great idea, terrificly written, and funny. The characters are real and they move you.
Rytex: Something tells me this feeling of me agreeing with her won’t last.
Wow, I pretty much just described Twilight didn't I?
Rytex: I knew it.
Exsan: You did not just describe Twilight. None of the description for the characters sounds accurate, and the story is only funny if you compare it to a REAL story.
:) They're both best sellers, they're both being made into movies. They're both blockbuster hits (Twilight most likely).
Xemyli: Oh no she didn’t. Let’s see… *checks Box Office Stats* Harry Potter as a series has earned… let’s see… Breeding Spawn- I mean, Breaking Dawn- Part 1 grossed just over $696 million. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 grossed about $1.3 billion. And it’s the Number 3 Top Grossing Film EVER, after Avatar and Titanic. Breaking Dawn Part 1, well, it’s down at Number 47. After New Moon and Eclipse, might I add.
I think what makes the major difference between these amazing stories is the author.
Rytex: *snort* Correct, except that only one of these stories is amazing. And it rhymes with Larry Knotter.
I won't lie and say I know a lot about J. K. Rowling
Exsan: Then seriously, why judge? If you know little, there’s no point in it.
but I've seen one interview, and it was enough to convinse me that, no matter how good her books are, I hate her.
Rytex: You misspelled “Convince.” Not to mention, you base your opinion on one interview?
J.K. Rowling is richer than the royal family (a proven fact). And yet she's let fame and fortune go to her head.
Exsan: Granted, she is richer than Queen Elizabeth (God save the Queen), but what about the millions she donated to charities like Comic Relief?
I saw one interview with her, and she was a nasty, bitter, old, wrench. She did nothing but complain about the "bloody Americans" and how the adaptation of the HP movies weren't up to her standards.
Rytex: *snort* You do realize she was the one who could have corrected anything wrong with them, right? And multiple times, she did.
She was horrible! I dislike her so much that if I saw her on the street I wouldn't stop her for an autograph, even IF I was carrying one of her books with me at the time.
Exsan: Of course not. You are unworthy of an autograph from one as awesome as our dear Jo.
Dalen: I would. Then I would send it to this girl in the mail. *Evil cackle*
Rytex: Mind if I join you in that endeavor?
Stephenie Meyer on the other hand is so sweet! I haven't read one interview with her where she was being unkind. She answers the questions, dosn't say anything bad about anyone, she even completely supports the cast, and helps them to better adapt their characters.
Xemyli: What is there to adapt to? Edward sulks and stalks, Jacob stalks and imprints on little infants, and Bella moans and whines.
I would travel to see Stephenie.
Hands down, Stephenie Meyer is going to go farther than J.K. Rowling.
Dalen: She already has gone further down that road than Rowling. How many Satanic cults has Rowling made? None, so far as I know, except the Death Eaters. Meyer? The Twihards.
Stephenie has just finished the first in another book series (The Host) which so far has gotten wonderful reviews (from the blessed souls who were permitted to read it before it's release date, jerks lol).
Rytex: Those people are called Waste Management.
Exsan: Good one.
She doesn't place all her fame and popularity on one book series.
What else has J.K. Rowling wrote besides: How to be a Stuffy British Bitch with a Bad Attitude? (Oh she hasn't wrote that either? Too bad, she'd be great at it!)
Dalen: Why not you? Oh, right, you’re not British. Pity, you’d make a great authoress for it.
Nothing! She's wrote nothing else. Yeah Harry Potter may carry her until the end of time, but Stephenie is a true author, and she won't stop.
Dalen: A true author? If that’s a true author, I can puke on a page and be called a true author.
Rytex: Zing! Good one!
What I'd like to see, more than anything else, is the day the Twilight Series bumped Harry Potter 7 down to 2nd best seller.
Xemyli: Never has happened. Never will. End of story.
I want to be there watching J.K. Rowling pulling out her nasty bleach blonde hair and screaming about how Meyer is just a bloody American who is less than she because she's British.
Rytex: If Rowling hates Americans so much, why did she hire Chris Columbus to do the first and second movies?
Oh, bloody Hell Rowling, doesn't it suck to be second to an America? :) *Evil cackle*
Dalen: I’m sorry, but only I can do evil cackles here. Not to mention, I don’t think she’d know. She’s still sitting in that #1 spot. Where’s Meyer? Oh, right, she’s behind.
Rytex: Dude, you’re on fire today.
Dalen: I try.
(No offense to any of you British people, I love you guys! You're our Mother Land :).
Rytex: Then what do you call the above?
That and, honestly, most of us are desendants from England. Love your country, love your accents, love you guys. Hate J.K. Rowling. Long live the Queen! lol)
Exsan: *inserts gun into mouth*
Xemyli: *Heroic BSoD*
Dalen: *taking notes from this “critic” on what she did wrong in the Evil Dept.*
Rytex: Well, that’s all for today. I’m out of here. I need something hard to get over that.
Xemyli: At least you aren’t part of the Canon Crew doing My Immortal.
Exsan: Yes, that is true.
Rytex: *nods* Yeah, very true. Well, I’m off to the bar. Dalen, Exsan, you coming with?
Dalen: Duh. I’d never pass up an opportunity to out-drink Exsan.
Exsan: In your dreams.
Xemyli: *shakes head* Boys…
Fanfiction could quite possibly write its own dictionary on terms associated with it, but I don't have nearly enough room to do that. I will be explaining some terminology that you may see on descriptions of my MSTs and Sporks that will describe what this particular fic is.
For Starters, these are some of the more basic terms you will find:
One-Shot - A one chapter story, usually a short romance
AU - Alternate Universe, usually a High school or somewhere where a Mary Sue could have a justified existence.
OC - Original Character, a character belonging to the author, and not the person who made the characters of the story.
OOC - Out of Character, when characters from the universe being written about don't act like they're supposed to (see My Immortal).
Crack Fic - Lolwut? embodied. Nothing is supposed to make sense.
Song Fic - A fic set to the words of a song, sometimes with the lyrics being used to describe the fic in general.
Slash - Any homosexual pairing written as a fanfiction
Yaoi - MalexMale romance, which I condemn. If the Kingdom Hearts Fanfiction page were grouped into these three categories, this one would occupy a good 95% of them. Also shown by M/M
Yuri - FemalexFemale, which I also condemn. Also shown by F/F
Het - Heterosexual Pairing, which should be obvious. Also shown by M/F
Shipping - Putting two characters in a relationship. It can be as normal as SoKai (Sora x Kairi) or as random as Ansem x Tifa.
Badfic - A terribly written fanfiction, which will be featured on this site.
Pairing - Like shipping, only it is used in less-cemented categories.
Xover - Crossover, integrating parts of another story with the one you are writing about, ex. Naruto x Harry Potter.
Now for some of the more advanced ones you can find:
WAFF - Warm and Fuzzy Feeling, usually a light-hearted and cute fic.
PWP - Porn Without Plot/Plot? What Plot?, usually a story meant to show the people having sex, and that's it.
Lemon - Explicit sexual content
Lime - Not as explicit, but not unexplicit either. A mixture of the two.
Beast - Beastiality, which is human/animal lemons.
Minor1 - One character of the pairing is a minor, under the age of manhood in that universe (e.g. Harry Potter being under 17).
Minor2 - Both characters of the pairing are minors, under the age of manhood in that universe (e.g. Harry Potter and Ginny being under 17).
Fluff - Same as WAFF
MPreg - Male pregnancy. Bleagh.
Futa - When a guy or girl has... both reproductive organs...
NSFW - Not Safe For Work, which means it is probably a bad idea to be reading one of these on your office computer.
Smut - Like PWP, but it can sometimes be part of a plot.
Now for some of my terms, as well as some Sporking-related Terms:
Script Format - Name: *action* What he says. The basic format of plays and such. This will be what I write the sporking in, and it will also be characterized by Bold Font.
Purple Prose - Overly detailed description of an object/person/Mary Sue.
Snarking - Making snide remarks at the expense of someone, and it is what I shall be doing as a Sporker.
Mary Sue - A perfect character. I have my own page going into more detail on it, though. See it.
Paragraph Format - The format you normally write in. Normally, it will be what distinguishes the story from the Sporking, as the story will be written in PF.
More to come later, but for now, this is a rather basic list of the terms you will see as I spork and MST.
My god, I have to restrain myself so I don't get too carried away here. Basically, I will be providing you with a few examples of Mary Sue Characters I will be lampooning for the world to see. I will sort them into categories to provide you with an example as to why Jenna Silverblade is an Entitlement Sue, or Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way is a Black Hole Sue (among others). And yes, I will be listing some well-known ones as well. I will be using the list of MS Categories on TVTropes.org to explain, complete with descriptive phrases.
Black Hole Sue - Everything is about me. - Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, My Immortal
Where do I start? How about "THE ENTIRE STORY REVOLVES AROUND HER!!!"? Seriously. She rapes Canon so hard, the Harry Potter series' fans have to shower for weeks after reading it just to stay sane. She takes Harry's place as the one who can destroy Voldemort, and every character seems to give a damn about her, when we all know that wouldn't happen in a million years, no exaggeration. Especially Draco Malfoy. *Shudder* Dear lord, Malfoy is so OOC, he makes the portrayal of Angela in the Eragon movie look true to her character.
Purity Sue - Love me! - Bella Swan, The Twilight Saga
Bella is a rather unique case. Not only is she Canon, meaning the universe loves her while being in-character, but she makes nearly everyone like her except, of course, the villains of the story. She claims she is not beautiful (even though her name means "Beautiful Swan"), and she puts on a clumsy show to set up a redeeming aspect (which fails comically), and yet, she has ten guys and a vampire falling for her in the first chapter alone. After that, a werewolf comes along in the next book.
God Mode Sue - Power overwhelming! - Rose Potter, The Girl Who Lived
The worst part about it, this series was written by a teenage male. Not female, which would make it half a modicum more acceptable, but male, which makes this even more pathetic. Rose is (wait, let me get my list here) an Animagus, a Druid who can control the elements without the aid of magic, a Metamorphmagus, a Parselmouth, a master martial artist (at age six, btw), a Patronus caster (which is gold and allows her to actually destroy Dementors), a "Beastspeaker", a summoner of animals, and a master of all things needed to resolve a plot issue, as the plot demands.
Mary Tzu - I knew you would do that. In fact, I knew you would do that before I even met you, cuz I'm JUST THAT GOOD! - Rose Potter, The Girl Who Lived
Did I mention she's mastered Divination, owns a Time-Turner, and generally empathizes with people she doesn't know to a degree to where she can predict when and where she will meet them?
Jerk Sue - I'm a complete and utter bitch and I have constant PMS... Love me! - Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, My Immortal
This is taken up to eleven by her. I'll just quote a part of the first chapter so you get the idea. "A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them." For no reason other than the fact that they aren't like her.
Possession Sue - My favorite character is an even better version of me! - Axel and Roxas, Most Org. XIII Fanfiction
I can't help but notice that most fangirls of the two, whenever they throw themselves into the story, tend to make one of two things happen: a) they make themselves ridiculously powerful and "awesome", or b) they are sensible about their Nobodies and instead, awesome-cize more than they already are Axel and Roxas, or whoever they're shipping themselves with.
Copy Cat Sue - I'm just like my favorite character, but even kewler. - Rose Potter, The Girl Who Lived
Taken to the point where she completely takes his place, and she deals a lot of damage to the Dursleys for giving her all the crap she's had to put up with.
Relationship Sue - You're MY boyfriend now! - Jenna Silverblade, My Inner Life
I really ought to put EDDRW here, considering she turns Harry and Draco into lapdogs at her command, but Jenna takes the cake, which is a lie btw. I mean, Link has five potential love interests in Ocarina of Time: Zelda, Malon (who I support for this Link), Saria, Nabooru, and Ruto. He gets none of them, instead being TWITterpated by this abomination at first sight. Cookies if you get the reference.
Sympathetic Sue - Feel sorry for me! - Sakura-Rose Sunblossom Orange Juice Annie Marie McFate, Those Lacking Spines
Sakura-Rose is a rather unique example in that she's a huuuuuuge parody of this stuff. Those Lacking Spines is a fanfic where three of the Nobodies of Organization XIII go through bad tropes of fanfiction to find the manhood of the other members, which were stolen from them by the Grand Master Fangirl. Anyway, Sakura-Rose, when accused of being perfect, gives us this little gem: "I have FLAWS! Like my stepdaddy beats me and he's SOOO MEAN! And I only got second place in my school spelling bee, and my class rank is only 3rd out of 247!"
Anti-Sue - I'm genuinely useless, but everybody still loves me! - Willow, My Immortal
Willow is a minor character in My Immortal, being Tara Gilesbie's best friend Raven who was given a Sue of her own. She is as loved by everyone as Ebony is, only she does absolutely nothing at all in the story except get expelled from Hogwarts, commit suicide, and get fornicated by Lupin because "he's a nekrofiliak."
Villain Sue - I have you now, my beautiful slaves! Ahahahahahaha! - Grand Master Fangirl, Those Lacking Spines
Played as straight as it comes, albeit in a parody. GMF is a literal 12-year-old girl who, as an author, contains power unrivaled by anyone in the entire story. She even kills Xemnas just because she can. She even sends out hordes of Gutless to change the normal members into Ukes of their normal selves just so she can write her story.
Fixer Sue - No, that's not how it's supposed to go! - Rose Potter, The Girl Who Lived
Man, we're seeing a lot of Rose, aren't we? First off, this is a retelling with a more powerful Harry Potter, only girlified. Second, Neville is a bigger badass, because the author (who is male, might I remind you) thought that he wasn't cool enough as a blundering boy in the first books. Also, most of the humor was stupid in this author's mind, so he took it out, or explained it to us because he thinks we don't have brains.
Parody Sue - Why don't they fall for my buxom charms? - Lt. Mary Sue, A Trekkie's Tale
I had to pay homage. This, ladies an gentlemen, is the namer of the character we all know and hate today. Lt. Mary Sue basically was an exaggeration of every Star Trek fanfic up until 1970-whatever, when it was written. It exploited everything lovestruck fangirls did to the Big Three, including becoming Captain of the Enterprise in ten seconds (which Spock claims is perfectly logical), saving all of their souls, and dying in such a way that everyone on the ship mourns her.
Thirty Sue Pileup - WE ARE LEGION! - Edward Cullen, Jacob Black, Bella Swan, etc., The Twilight Saga
Hoo boy. This Sue seems a little self-evident, but whatever. Not only does Twilight have Bella Swan, who I mentioned earlier, but it also has those two meatbags. They are perfect characters in every way (minus Jacob's pedophilia... and Edward's, to be honest), and they never do wrong. The only thing Jacob does wrong (in Bella's mind) is exist because he stalks her (which is hypocritical because her boyfriend stalks her too). And then there's Renesmee...
Entitlement Sue - It's all mine, I tell you, MINE! - Jenna Silverblade, My Inner Life
As an avid fan of Zelda_Queen, I had to include this. She named this one herself, and I gave it the descriptive phrase. Now, I'm a perfectly straight male, but for some reason, her getting Link really pisses me off. And then there's the other stuff she gets. Jenna wants something, and what Jenna wants, Jenna gets, regardless of how raped the canon gets. Let's see, there's a position in the Royal Family (and she isn't born into it), Link, a friendship with Zelda (who had to stay inside the castle and had guards Link had to sneak past, so how did they even meet?), Link, knowledge of the Triforce an other topics that only the Royal Family is supposed to know about, Link, a better version of the Master Sword, Link, the Ocarina of Time, Link, new powers as the plot demands, and Link in the same story. I made sure I mentioned Link, right?
Those are the more basic Sues you'll find in your story. Now for some more well-known Sues. If you have any I can add, don't hesitate to tell me.
Name: Nixashimigi, Cries of the Crimson Angel
Powers (if any): Six Keyblades, Ability to pinpoint her heartless' exact location
Classification: Copy Cat Sue, victims being Roxas and Xion
Unusual Appearance: grey eyes (sometimes appear green or blue) that sparkle, hot pink hair, incredibly thin, and yet has huge boobies
Other MS Traits: Xemnas likes her a lot (and he usually hates everyone), doesn't want to join with her Heartless because "Nobodies do it better."
Name: Vanya, Beloved
Powers (if any): Stronger in magic than Arya, able to seduce Eragon away from her.
Classification: Relationship Sue, victim being Eragon
Unusual Appearance: Blindness, and deafness, other than that, we really don't know.
Other MS Traits: Eragon is her eyes and ears, but she is his brain an heart... whatever that means.
This post will be showing how I grade the badfics I will be MSTing.
For starters, I will be adhering to this standard form:
Title: The title of the badfic.
Grade: The Grading Scale will be explained below.
Victims: [OOC Characters, or those who the story is about]
Summary: Summarize the badfic.
Offenses: What does the badfic do that makes it so bad?
Basically, explain everything. Now, if the story contains a Mary Sue, I will follow the above formula first, and then add a few more entries:
Name: the name of the Sue.
Powers (if any): Any special powers she has.
Classification: The kind of Mary Sue he/she/it is.
Unusual Appearance: Anything about her appearance that makes her abnormal.
Other MS Traits: Other traits that identify him/her/it as a Sue.
Now, the Grading Scale I will be following, from best to worst, is as follows:
Meh: Not a terrible one, but not a good one.
Lame: Bad, but there are worse.
Fail: This fic sucks, period. For such subjects as Kingdom Hearts and The Legend of Zelda, a high school AU is automatically stuck here. Unless, like Only in High School, they manage to do it well.
Epic Fail: Obviously the author thought this was actually good.
The Last Airbender: The next-to-worst fics, which are still better than Twilight, My Immortal, and My Inner Life.
Stephanie Meyer: The author writes like Stephanie Meyer. That is as opposite of a good thing as it gets.
If anyone has suggestions as to how I could make this list better, let me know.